Naming the Genuine

Naming the Genuine

As we move into the holiday season, it is the time that we gather with our loved ones— whether family or friends. As we gather, we remember those who sat around our festive tables who we no longer see face to face. At festive times of the year, many cultures include remembering the ancestors as part of the celebration. My own faith tradition affirms this pattern at the beginning of November with the celebration of All Saints’ Day. In the Episcopal tradition of the Christian Church, saints are not only the famous but, as the favorite hymn goes,

“They lived not only in ages past, there are hundreds and thousands still,

the world is bright with the joyous saints….

you can meet them at school, or in lanes, or at sea,

in church, or in trains or in shops or at tea (remember this is a British hymn!),

for the saints of God are just folks like me,

and I mean to be one too!”

(“I sing a song of the saints of God”, Hymnal 1982)

As we remember our own saints in our lives, we often try to emulate them, to think that we are our best selves when we are like them. While we do learn our values from our family members and other elder mentors as children, sometimes we begin to think that we are only worthwhile when we become like them. Or, sometimes, we believe that we are destined to become the darker sides of our elders. Often times, the names given to us at birth give us our marching orders for life.

I was named Martha Nell Macgill at birth. First, Martha was my maternal grandmother’s name. I never knew Martha Deborah Byrd Britt but I have believed that my creativity and cheerful disposition come from her and my mother. She was a milliner and created beautiful, stylish hats. My mother inherited her mother’s creativity as a watercolor artist and seamstress.

Second, Nell comes from my paternal grandmother—Mary Nell Rucker Macgill. Like my maternal grandmother Martha Deborah, she was a single mother for most of her life. They both knew hard times. Unlike Martha Deborah, I knew Mother Nell very well as a child. She was a school teacher, a strong matriarch and a comforting grandmotherly presence.

Finally, my surname Macgill comes from a long line of Scots who are frugal and hard working. My father represented those qualities as a railroad lawyer and World War II veteran and I have always felt the heavy expectations of those values.

As I look back on my life, I see that I have had other names. When I turned five, I didn’t want to be called “Martha” so my parents started calling me “Markee.” When I became a parent, I was called “Mommy” and “Mom.” As a grandmother, I am “Momo.” But I also realize that, over the years, I have forced myself to try to be the names my parents gave me in many ways—most particularly, forcing myself to become the lawyer Macgill when I knew it was not my strong suit. I also have found that the creative side of my mother is often in conflict with the practical, nose-to-the grindstone side of my father. For most of my life, the father in me has won the day.

John O’Donohue, my spiritual writer of the fall, has said that

A name should never trap a thing. In the Jewish tradition, for instance, if you know the name of a thing, you had an inkling of its secret and mystery. The name was a doorway of reverence. When you name a dimension of your experience, one of your qualities or difficulties, or some presence within you, you give it an identity. It then responds to you according to the tone of its name. We need to exercise great care and respect when we come to name something. We always need to find a name that is worthy and spacious. When we name things in a small way, we cripple them.” (from Eternal Echoes by John O’Donohue)

When I became an Episcopal priest, I added a “The Reverend” to the beginning of my name. That began to identify me in a way completely different from my parents. As I prepared to leave South Africa, I was given a Zulu name by my friends there. The name Thandeka. Thandeka means “one who blesses.” That name recognizes my role as a priest, but I now have come to see it as a more expansive name that allows me to move out into the world as a “blessing presence” beyond the church. It feels like a unique name that identifies the genuine in me. A quality that I was born with beyond my given names.

The month of November is when we remember those we love and their gifts to us. November is also a time of gratitude for life’s blessings. I give thanks today for my ancestors—my grandparents and parents—who blessed me with my name that brings so many good practices and time-honored ways of living. I am also thankful for the other names I have acquired along the way that tell me who I am beyond my given names. The names that underscore who I truly am called to be in the world.

Pondering: Take time to think about the names you were given at birth. What qualities are associated with those names in your families of origin? What new names or nicknames did you acquire along the way? What does that tell you about the genuine YOU?

From left to right: My parents Anna Britt Macgill and Winfield Scott Macgill, my mother Anna as a child and my grandmother Martha Deborah Byrd Britt and my grandmother Mary Nell Rucker Macgill in her 1900 wedding dress.

Two Invitations from Soul Space and Rev Martha -

Divine Invitation: A Retreat to Prepare for the Winter Feasts

Sunday, November 26th from 4 pm-8 pm at Emmanuel Episcopal Church, 16 Washington Street, Cumberland.

In the Christian tradition, Advent and Christmas mark the time of the Incarnation, the coming of God into the world as the child Jesus. The term “incarnation” literally means to be embodied in the flesh. As such, the divine honors and blesses the earthly, fleshy life we each live. The divine also calls to us in the midst of our lives. The season of Advent, the four weeks leading up to Christmas, is a time to set aside to listen for the divine presence in our lives.

On the Sunday after Thanksgiving, Rev Martha will be present with you to set aside time to practice listening for the divine presence in your life. We will gather as evening falls at Emmanuel for meditations led by Rev Martha as well as a potluck dinner together. Bring a Thanksgiving favorite to share. Donations to soulspacecumberland are encouraged. Rev Martha will use these donations to support area initiatives like the Community Cafe as well as be able to continue her soul space meditations. For those unable to join us, the meditations will be available on the soul space website during the four weeks of Advent in December. This retreat will be appropriate for all people wherever they find themselves in their walk of faith.

Register by November 20th by sending Rev Martha a message on soul space website or emailing her at soulspacecumberland@gmail.com

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A Podcast for New Life by Rev. Martha—Where and to What is the Universe Calling You Now?

Beginning Sunday, December 3

Reading from her book Traveler on the Way which recounts Rev Martha’s call to South Africa, we’ll explore together how the divine gently calls us to new life and adventure. In each installment, Rev Martha will speak to her own experience of her call to South Africa as well as what it has meant to her in the years since. She also will end each installment with some questions for you in your own journey to new life. Register by emailing Rev Martha at soulspacecumberland@gmail.com

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